Saturday, February 13, 2010
I cannot stand another moment thinking bout you. Thinking bout the promise you've made to me. Thinking of the phone call you made last night. And the thought of your last sentence gives me shivers. "I'll see you honey. I love you." Oh god!! It gives me shivers down my spine now that I gave thought to it. But at that moment when you said it, it felt so good. So darn good. It gave me hope. It gave me security to know that you will come and join me in this adventure and that we will rekindle our love and to renew our faith in each other. I thought there was love. I thought I could trust you. I had faith in you when you asked me a second chance. I forgave you for something I shouldnt have. And now, I regret my decision. I regret that I've trusted you. I thought you would be fair to me, you would come and be with me and we could work things out again. Just you and me. But now, you prove me wrong. Oh, so wrong!! I hate myself for this bad judgement. I hate myself for the decision that I've made. Why oh why did I ever forgive you? Was it your looks? or charms? or money? or was I just taken in by your sweet talk? Those sweet words of yours made my heart stopped. It did. It stopped for a moment. I was lost by the words spoken. I couldn't think at all. My brain froze all of a sudden. My heart skipped a beat. I was just paralyzed when you said what you've spoken. But now, I can see clearly that its just a bunch of lies. Its just hoax. Its just you trying to impress me and trying to show the world that you can get what you want, play it all out and then leave. Do you think you're great? Do you think you've won the battle? You're so wrong, Brian. You will never win this battle against me. Never ever in your life will you expect to win this battle.
I can't help but thinking of my bad judgement and horrible decision. Why was I so stupid? Why didn't I see through your bad intentions? Why was I so blind? I guessed you have planned this right from the start. It was just a great lie after that. You said that you couldn't let me go? What a piece of shit! Nonsense! You're just so selfish. You're just afraid that I might find someone new and that you'll be left all alone. That is why you did this, didn't you? You didnt have Greece in mind anyway. You just wanted to play it out. Go on, play along with her and leave her at the very last moment to struggle. Hah! Guess what, I didn't struggle at all. I had tons of fun with my Arab friends in Dubai. They came after just 1 call. Unlike you!
I hate you. I hate you for doing this to me. I hate you for blinding me with your words. I hate you! I hate you! And I will never ever forgive you in a million years to come, even if you were to beg me for forgiveness or give me your life. I hope you're miserable now. All alone and miserable for what you've done to me. And miserable enough to know that I'm happy and enjoying myself in Athens with my best friend. And who knows, I might just meet someone more capable and trustworthy than you. You're just a useless freak now. And to me, you're just as good as dead!
I do not wish to speak to you. I do not wish to see you and I do not wish to hear about you anymore. You can just go to HELL! Go F*** yourself! I hope you're in pain right now. I hope you're in misery now. You deserve it very much.
And one last thing, ITS OVER BRIAN!