Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Pearl Ring

Well, here's the story about a pearl ring.

Its tradition, according to Brian's mum, that in his family, when the son marries, he has to give his bride a pearl ring, aside to the diamond ring and this pearl ring is a symbol of his heart. Its like he has given his heart as a symbol of his love, to his bride. And in the event the marriage breaks down somewhere along the way, she must always return the ring, as in the pearl ring, and its pretty much like returning his heart and letting him go so that he is free to love again. I know its a tradition in Italy where the guy gives the girl a pearl but never mind....we're talking bout the Hughes's family tradition here.

So basically, Brian and I, our marriage never made it past 6 months...

And guess what! His mum called me weeks ago and spoke about the ring. Thankfully, I hadn't sold it or its like selling Brian's heart to the store. Hahaha..So, back in May, on my way back from Wembley after Man Utd lost to Barcelona, I stopped by Ireland and met up with Brian. Pretty much gave back his heart and let him go for the last time but for once, we were able to sit down for a quiet and peaceful dinner and a nice warm chat. The feeling was surreal. I mean, ever since the marriage in Dec, we hadn't had dinner together even once in Singapore, neither did we have a peaceful chat without yelling at one another or making faces. I mean, way back in Singapore, it was like we're both invisible to one another. He comes home, he goes to the room and there he goes for the night while I'm out watching tv or snacking in the kitchen. Yeah, seriously for once, he asked me if I would love to catch the Singtel F1 with him this year. And I was like, I thought you gave up on F1.

So, I was pretty amazed and is still by the power of the pearl ring...


Sitting by the window on the edge of my bed, with the laptop next to me and the phone in my hand, I look out of the window and what do I see? The moon...full moon it seems and its been that way for the past 3 days, and so you got me! I've been staring at the moon for the past 3 days from my bed, and I just felt so curious, and I wondered and wondered...what was life on the moon like? Is it just as stressful as it was down on Earth? So stressful and worrying that you wished you were never born? Looking at the moon and wondering what life there was like brought me back to those olden days, early 90s', my childhood, teenage years when life was just full of excitement, new stuff and when there was nothing to worry about.....

Life back then was awesome although it was pretty much routine based. You know, like getting up at 10am every morning, go downstairs and breakfast is ready by the table. And oh, did I mention that I get whatever I want for breakfast. That was how much granny used to pamper me. She used to wake up like 6am in the morning and head out to the market by 7am and back home by 10am, just as I am about to get my ass off bed. My mother would be around as well but she's like normally busy with school work and my dad, well, he's out working hard and usually gets off to work at about 7am and back at about 9pm. So, its basically life with granny most of the time. So, I wake up at 10am, have breakfast, then watch some cartoons (oh yeah, they used to have great cartoons back then), then take my bath and the school bus usually comes by 12.30pm, so its off to school. My mum normally leaves for school at about the same time so sometimes, well, I just pretend to have a tummy ache, miss the bus and have mum bring me to school. And she will normally yell at me for pulling off this nonsense but hell yeah, way back then, having your mum take you to school is like a Hollywood celebrity. Seriously. Everyone would look up to you and respect you like the queen. So its school during the afternoon and then normally, my mum will bring me home from school, say about 7pm and straight to the dinner table. I was a glutton back then, so dinner before shower. So after dinner, shower then homework time and those shitty schools, they really give loads of homework. Usually, dad comes home when I'm doing my homework, so I get to chat with him for a while before he hits the bed. And since I'm a lazy pig, I'm normally in bed by 11pm, well normally by then mum would chase me to bed...

Ahh!! It was those days. Looks so routine based but it was FUN. I mean, I don't have to worry about money, food bla bla bla...

And then there were the dreams. Well, normally in Form 4 and 5, the teachers will always ask the students what their plans are for the future and what do they want to be when they grow up. And you always hear the same old answers, Lawyer, Doctor, Engineer, Architect, Accountant...and then when you're older, you realized one day that you're not what you had wanted to be. Hey, guess what! It happens all the time....I mean, look at me. When I was 16, I told my teacher proudly that "My ambition is to be a lawyer". So where am I today? I did Law in college, I graduated with a Second Class Upper, I have my Masters in Law today but still, I'm not a lawyer, am I? Well, I was a Customer Service Executive, a QA Specialist, a Business Operations Executive, and oh a Personal Assistant to a CEO....though it wasn't in my dream list, but I chose what I chose because of the money. Its not easy when you have bills and credit cards and loans and bla bla bla to pay each month.

You know, every morning, as I wake up, I normally sit on the edge of my bed, look up into the sky, close my eyes and pray to God that today would be better than yesterday. And then as I take my shower, have my coffee and drive to work, in my mind, I kept thinking about work work and work and then money money and money. For me, its simple, for every time I charge my credit card for something, I have to make enough money the next day to cover for it. Its that simple, but the ways to make that money.....its just stressful. And then when you get the pay cheque at the end of the month, you have to make all the payments and by the end of it, you notice that you have a couple hundred of dollars left for the month! And then you worry about this and that and emergencies...Argh!

And then as we grow older, there's something called LOVE, besides money. Its just a 4 letter word but it can really destroy you. Trust me. I've been in and out of love, way too many times, the heart breaks and tears, oh can really kill. I mean, obviously we've read in the papers on how people die for love. That's how tragic love can be....but then as we grow older and lonelier, we worry. Worry that you might not find love. Worry that no men out there would make you his wife. Worry that you might die alone...

See, we start to worry after a certain age but as soon as it starts, it doesn't stop until the day we die. So, honestly, I do sit back and reflect on the past childhood. A carefree and awesome childhood...Sigh

Saturday, April 16, 2011

My Wish...

I wish it was December 2010 all over again.
I wish it was truly 24th December 2010 again.
I really really wish it was...
Would I have lived my life differently then?
If I had lived it differently, would it end the way it ended now?
Separation? As in separation without the chances of even being friends?
Boy oh boy, I do live in regret at times.

I still think of the good times we had when we were so in love. The anticipation of getting your calls late at night or the long wait till the weekend just to see you and spend precious times with you for just two nights till we part again. My oh my, I still wished it wasn't over. Maybe you may say I'm crazy for not letting the past go but how could I when we were so powerful together and back then, I thought that nothing would tear us apart. Nothing. Not even a single flaw will bring us apart. But I guess I was just so darn wrong! Or maybe you would say that it wasn't a small thing after all. I admit that it was a huge decision at that time, and with the added surprise and the sudden loss of the unborn but you should've been there for me, not away from me or to withdraw yourself from all these. You were a part of me then and I still wished you were a part of me now but I guess this isn't going to happen.

But if it was Christmas 2010 again, I guess I would have lived my life differently. Maybe I should've gone for it earlier, before the formation of the unborn, before it all started. Would it have changed everything? Would we be happily married by now, you as my husband and me as your wife, living our dreams together and making them come true? Would it? Maybe we would have conquered the world by now. You and Me...

You know what, sometimes I lay in bed and think, if we were married today and I hadn't gone for the operation, what would it be like for you and me? Huh? I would be hmm..4 months pregnant by now? And normally those thoughts will bring tears to my eyes.

Though I try to forget you, forget what you've done and forget about our past, and put on a fake smile and walk ahead, yet when I look in the mirror, I see this sad look underneath that smile, a face full of regrets and pain. A face that had hoped this wasn't the end yet has to still accept that it is in fact the end of the game.

But I guess if you had given us a chance to work things out, it would have been different all together. We could have tried to mend this broken relationship. I could have forgave you for the immaturity or the insensibility and you could at least have tried to love me again although your heart wasn't with me anymore.

If only I could turn back time....24th December 2010

Friday, March 11, 2011


Sunday, February 6, 2011

When Will I See You Again?

Been crying myself to sleep every night for the past few days after listening to this song. I've actually heard it played on the in flight radio. I can't believe that they can read my mind and know what I was feeling then. And even if he's just beside me now, it feels like we're a thousand miles apart. Why? Why? Why? Why must I fall for you and then get myself into this SHIT. And I keep asking myself if we are in love or are we just friends....

When will I see you again?
When will we share precious moments?
Will I have to wait forever?
Or will I have to suffer and cry the whole night through?

When will I see you again?
When will our hearts beat together?
Are we in love or just friends?
Is this my beginning or is this the end?
When will I see you again?
(When will I see you again?)
When will I see you again?

Are we in love or just friends?
Is this my beginning or is this the end?
When will I see you again?
(When will I see you again?)
When will I see you again?
(When will I see you again?)
When will I see you again?
(When will I see you again?)
When will I see you again?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

What's Wrong with Peeps Nowadays!!

I woke up this morning, got online to read the news and guess what I saw :

US mother kills teen son and daughter (Updated)

TAMPA, Florida (AP): The wife of a military officer shot and killed her son on the way to soccer practice, then drove to their upscale home and shot her daughter in the head while she studied at her computer, police said Friday. Afterward, the woman told detectives she killed the teens for being "mouthy." Julie Powers Schenecker admitted the slayings after officers found her covered in blood on the back porch of her home Friday morning, police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said. Schenecker's mother had called police from Texas because she was unable to reach the 50-year-old woman, whom she said was depressed and had been complaining about her children. Schenecker's husband, Parker Schenecker, is an Army colonel stationed at the headquarters of U.S. Central Command at MacDill Air Force Base in Tampa. The father had been away for several days when the killings happened, said CentCom spokesman Lt. Col. Michael Lawhorn, describing him as a career Army intelligence officer. Police said Parker Schenecker was in Qatar and was told of his children's deaths on Friday. Julie Schenecker left a note detailing her plans to kill her disrespectful children and then herself, saying "they talked back and were mouthy and that she was going to take care of it," McElroy said. She provided the same motive to police who interviewed her. "I think we will never understand how or why a mother could take the lives of her children," McElroy said. "That was the only reason she provided to our detectives." The body of Schenecker's daughter, Calyx Powers Schenecker, 16, was found in an upstairs bedroom, McElroy said. The body of her son, Powers Beau Schenecker, 13, was found in an SUV in the garage. An arrest affidavit said Schenecker shot her son twice in the head "for talking back" while driving him to soccer practice Thursday night. She drove home, went inside and shot her daughter in the back of head while the teen sat at a computer doing homework, then shot her in the face, the affidavit said. McElroy said investigators believe the teens "never saw it coming." Both were killed with a .38-caliber pistol. Julie Schenecker was jailed and charged with two counts of first-degree murder. Wearing a white jumpsuit, she was led into a county jail later Friday visibly shaking and being supported by a sheriff's deputy. Her Facebook page says she earned a bachelor's degree in physical education from the University of Northern Iowa. Sylvia Carroll, who attended Muscatine High School in Iowa with Julie Schenecker, said she was a popular and athletic girl who starred in basketball in the late 1970s. They reconnected about a year ago on Facebook. "I'm just in shock," said Carroll, who now lives in Austin, Texas. "I can't believe this." The family's home is on a cul-de-sac in a gated country club community in north Tampa.

And I was like, you've got to be kidding me right? A mother, who is supposed to care and love for their children...speechless, simply speechless. I mean, as a kid, aren't we supposed to look up to our parents or least they are the only ones we can trusts because they are family? And to me, its pretty normal for teens to be 'mouthy', don't you think? You know,our parents are from their own generation and we are the present generation, which is way more open and advance, and definitely there will be conflicts at times. But still..sigh, speechless, just speechless. But somehow, it does remind me of my mother, back in secondary school. I was like any other growing up teen, naughty as ever...stubborn!! And sometimes when I get 'mouthy', my mother just walks over gracefully and gives me a tight SLAP...Hahahahaha...and then I would run to granny and cry. But after a day or two, well, things go back to how its supposed to be. She's still my mother. And I'm still her daughter. No hard feelings but perhaps, that's just the way she deals with me and her way of bringing me up. So, when I reflect back to those moments, I think a SLAP is much better than a bullet through my brains...

Although I haven't been a mother myself, but I will look forward to being one some day, hopefully with the man that I will spend my entire life with loving, err...its a bit exaggerated huh. But even then, I will never ever raise my hands on them. Most people who are already mothers may tell me, "its easier said than done" but hey, trust me and you can throw me a challenge, I will definitely never ever hit my children. Ask people around me, my friends, my parents, my cousins, I'm a very gentle person when it comes to kids, even if the kid is annoying..Hehehehe..but no matter how annoying they are, they are still young innocent kids and they are just doing it to catch their parent's attention, right? I'm sure I've done that when I was a kid...haven't you? Ask yourself...(and don't lie..)

And besides, it takes a lot to become a mother. The 9 month pregnancy think its easy? The sickness and the pain...but at the end of the day, when the child is born, its all worth it! That is why I don't understand how that lady can have the heart to kill both her children....just don't understand and still speechless by her actions.

My oh my..people nowadays are getting weirder and crazier......

Friday, January 28, 2011

50 Facts You Didn't Know About Me But Now You Do

Here are 50 facts that you may not know about me but perhaps you should know now. And trust me, even my best friend doesn't know them...

1) My first English name given by my mum was Shereen.
2) I have a pet cat named Coco when I was 10 but my dad took it away because I was naughty.
3) I reached puberty at the age of 14. (oops...)
4) My first boyfriend was at the age of 16.
5) I first drove my mum's car at the age of 15, illegally la of course.
6) I knocked my dad's Volvo onto a tree while reversing but thank god nothing happened.
7) I sneaked out to a friend's party at the age of 12 (a little devil...)
8) I had a crush on a guy from the same school bus at the age of 12. His name was Andrew.
9) I faked a stomach ache once to get my mum send me to school.
10) I skipped school once just to hangout at Mc Donalds.
11) I rode a bike at the age of 13 and met with an accident. (i was hospitalized for a week..)
12) I skipped my tuition class just to hang out at Midlands with my boyfriend.
13) I skipped my add maths tuition and went shopping once (my dad caught me actually..)
14) My first car was a Proton Wira (PEA 981) and its in Penang now.
15) I was born in Kangar, Perlis.
16) I was adopted by this current family in Penang soon after birth.
17) I was born with a heart condition (probably the reason for adoption)
18) My second car was a Naza Citra (WMV 8839) but I sold it when I bought the BLM.
19) My first job was as a waitress in Big O's Deli @ Island Plaza, Penang.
20) I lost my virginity when I was 19 (or was it 18...) to my Sri Lankan boyfriend.
21) I have a second degree in Mass Communication from Monash University in Sunway.
22) I major in Criminal Law, Criminology and Law of Evidence.
23) My favourite subjects in school are English and Accounts. (truly unbelievable)
24) I have a novel coming out soon and its called The Web of Deceit (name given by Iq)
25) My second English name was Crystal (given by yours truly during school days..)
26) I was a Buddhist during my younger days back in Penang.
27) I was baptised by Father Peter in St Francis Xavier Church on 23rd November 2003.
28) My best friend is James. (hah! many of you thought it was Deborah!)
29) My favourite movie is still 'The Devil Wears Prada'.
30) I am the only child in the family.
31) My room walls used to be covered with BSB, 911, Spice Girls posters.
32) I had a crush on my computer class teacher when I was 15.
33) I stole 3 textbooks from ******** during secondary school.
34) My favourite song is 'Forever Begins Tonight' by Patrizio Buanne.
35) My favourite colour is Red ( one knows!)
36) I have co-owned an online store selling car decorations (bet you have no idea..)
37) I only use tampons during menstruation. (never used pads coz its messy..)
38) I always switch off my mobile phones on weekends.
39) I have an AMEX charge card (ahaks!!)
40) Iq bought me my latest BB Curve casing (the pink one and I love it..)
41) I spoke to Dilly of Mix FM yesterday and she was extremely friendly.
42) I've driven to KLIA in 30 minutes from my house in Flora. (like KLIA Express..)
43) I hate RICE. Thank you.
44) I like SAVOURY PASTRIES. Thank you.
45) I've tried committing suicide once but it failed. (terrible lah..damn painful)
46) My first handphone was Startec, when I was in Form 3.
47) I hate messy people and places.
48) I like street food more than restaurant/hotel food.
49) I'm 5ft 9" and I weigh ****** (hahahaha..never in a million years till the day I die)
50) I am a Stephen King fan. (thriller babeh!!)

So, after reading this blog, you think you know me now? Guess what!! You still don't! That's just like 50 interesting (huh?) facts about me...I think I have way more than that...Hahahahahaha