Monday, March 22, 2010

Thank You

Sayu terpisah
hikayat indah kini hanya tinggal sejarah
berhembus angin rindu
begitu nyamannya terhidu wangian kasihmu
hujan lebat mencurah kini
bagaikan tiada henti
kaulah laguku kau irama terindah
tak lagi kudengari
kau pergi.. pergi..
sepi tanpa kata
terdiam dan kaku tak daya kau kulupa
apa pun kata mereka
biarkan kenangan berbunga di ranting usia..

How sad can a song be when you actually listen to its words and then try your very best to relate it to your life? How much tears it would bring you when you associate the lyrics to your miserable life? Well, it did. I cried listening to this song, while relating my life to it, to all the sad relationships I had. It made me wonder what it would be like if I were to stay happy.

A song dedicated to the men in my life : Ajantha, Rafayel, Steven, Mark, Harvey, Andy and Brian.

If only things had worked out for us, where would we be today? Where would we stand this very moment? How happy would I be? But when you're just about to dream of those good old times, someone had to yell your name from afar and wake you up. Wake you up and made you realize that it was just a dream. A dream that will never come true. And then, at the end, you're just sitting at the corner of the room, typing your miserable story online.

Saying Goodbye is not that bad. Sometimes, in fact, it will make you move forward. Move on with your life. Its no point sulking over spoilt milk. Its just a life. Your life. And if you dont learn to appreciate what you have in front of you, then one fine day, you will find yourself in an empty room, all alone. And you find yourself so small in this world. Or to put in other words, the world is just too big for you.

Andy, you woke me up last night. You were the voice inside my head all these while. You finally made me realize who I was. What a monster I was. Perhaps, through your eyes, I am one. An evil one eyed monster. I never knew. I never knew till last night when you finally broke your silence. And I often thought you were my friend. A friend who cared. A friend who loved me. But I guess, no human in this world could keep such a big secret right? Well, at least you didn't. But do you know that you had hurt me so bad? Bad enough to cause me so much pain and misery? You made me lose a friend. And not only that. He was a friend I loved so dearly and will never hurt till the day I die. What you said yesterday made me feel like I was being run over by a trailer. You made me feel lifeless. You made me feel naked.

But thank you Andy.

Those are the only words I can say to you. Thank you for opening my eyes to this cruel world. And not forgetting, thank you for making me feel useless and unappreciated...

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